Every Thanksgiving, the narrator of this short story thinks about people who have less than he does. This year, he picked up Giacomo Leopardi from his small hometown, drove him across Missouri, and tried to get him hired at Hallmark. It did not go well.
The piece, originally published on Humor Outcasts, is built around the famously bleak 19th-century Italian poet whose phrase "noia" — roughly, crushing boredom mixed with despair — became a recurring theme.
At a glance
- Giacomo Leopardi is presented as the world's most famously miserable poet.
- The narrator drives him from a small town near Kansas City for a Hallmark interview.
- Leopardi brings a diary of verse to read aloud.
- He orders a Cappuccino Heath Bar Blizzard and reacts to it with mild interest.
- By the end, the narrator reschedules the interview and aims for Arthur Bryant's barbecue instead.
The setup
The narrator's plan is simple: haul a depressed Italian poet to the headquarters of America's biggest greeting card company, hand him a Kool-Aid T-shirt, and watch the cheerful corporate energy fix everything. Of course it doesn't.
Leopardi, in this telling, learned about the trip roughly when the horn honked. He left Recanati — the writer's stand-in for a small-town upbringing — as an American Field Service exchange student and still resents the Ozarks gateway. "How do they hang?" the narrator asks at the car. "I just feel noia," Leopardi replies, defining the word like a man grading his own pain.
The Dairy Queen scene
They stop for sugar. Leopardi orders a Cappuccino Heath Bar Blizzard, which is the first genuine sign of life he shows in the whole piece. When the narrator worries about getting the order wrong, Leopardi insists on coming inside. Otherwise, he says, the narrator would ruin it. He almost smiles, which for this character is a standing ovation.
Sugar hits. The narrator tries to talk up Hallmark's "Shoebox" humor line. Leopardi turns the page to his wedding verse: "Children you will have / You will either a coward or unhappy / Make them unhappy." The narrator calls it potential card material. Leopardi refuses on the grounds that everything is evil. The narrator realizes this is not the day for an interview.
Our analysis
The joke works because it never pretends Leopardi will change. The narrator keeps trying to upgrade the mood — Kool-Aid, Dairy Queen, Hallmark pitch — and Leopardi keeps downgrading it. The character never breaks. The narrator keeps adjusting.
What makes this Thanksgiving-relevant isn't the Hallmark pitch; it's the lesson about hosting someone difficult. You don't cure chronic misery with corporate cheer. You pick one small win and let it sit. A Blizzard. A walk. Burnt ends instead of a job interview. The story knows what it is: a man learning he can't fix everything in one afternoon, and settling for feeding him instead.
Who should care
| Reader | Why it matters |
|---|---|
| Hosts dreading difficult guests | The move works: skip the big argument, aim for one small upgrade |
| Fans of literary humor | The verse is bleak enough to be funny; the delivery is the joke |
| Anyone hiring a doom poet | Know your limits. Arthur Bryant's might be the better first date |
What to watch next
Watch for more holiday shorts from Humor Outcasts — these literary crossovers only work when the writer knows the source material. This one does. The real question is whether Leopardi ever makes it to a Shoebox card meeting. Don't hold your breath.
Key takeaways
- The story works because Leopardi's bleak verse meets a relentlessly cheerful American setting.
- Trying to cure chronic misery with corporate cheer usually fails; aim for one small upgrade instead.
- The piece is part of the "Poetry Matters" collection on Amazon.
Frequently asked questions
Who is "Jock" in the story?
The narrator's nickname for Giacomo Leopardi, the 19th-century Italian poet known for his bleak philosophical verse.
What is noia?
Leopardi's word, often translated as boredom or ennui, but closer to a deep, crushing indifference he treated as a central theme.
Where was the story first published?
It ran on Humor Outcasts and is also available in the "Poetry Matters" collection on Amazon.
Did Leopardi ever get the Hallmark job in the story?
No. The interview is rescheduled for later, and the trip ends at Arthur Bryant's barbecue instead.
What's the takeaway for handling difficult guests at Thanksgiving?
Skip the big emotional pitch. Go for one small win — a good meal, a short drive, a Blizzard — and build from there.